An English colleague of mine maintains a lifelong bafflement about why we Americans don’t like to ride bikes - to work, to school, to the store, to a friend’s house for dinner. American bike avoidance is a perplexity he apparently shares with his British countrymen. Oh, but just think of all the good reasons to get into cycling! It’s cheap, fun, healthy and green! he explains. And: You don’t have to own a car! (OMG, I know.) Why, I love to bike! Who doesn’t like to bike? he demands.

Americans, that’s who. I’ve tried, and failed, to explain just how un-American the bicycle-as-transport is, but until now it’s been a cultural difference lost in translation no matter how many social networks we try it on. Seeing as how we both speak English, that’s really saying something. “Codswallop!” he’ll snort. (This is English.) “Rubbish, absolutely ludicrous. There’s nothing remotely offensive about a bicycle!”

Oh, good sir, I beg to differ. Today, I compile the fruit of years of Gmail debate, enhanced by the intellectual quotient one could only possess hailing from the #1 country on earth (that’d be moi), into one final attempt to enlighten my friend across the pond. You know who you are.

Why don’t Americans ride bikes? I can’t believe I’m getting sucked into this conversation yet again, but here we go. Please don’t bother with your fancy links to articles of lists of reasons of sensible points about the benefits biking, which naturally have begun infiltrating American websites (evidence of the liberal media). You’re European which can’t be helped so I don’t want to make you feel too badly, but facts? Did Columbus need facts? You see my point.

1. First of all, as any American knows, bikes are for poor people. What kind of loser can’t lease an Escalade?

The exception is when bikes are for rich people, which is the only time it is acceptable to own a bicycle. Cycling, you see, is a hobby. A lark at your summer home in Maine. Alternatively, cycling is an athletic pursuit for your weekends in Marin or jaunts to Tahoe. Also, a perfectly legitimate excuse for grown men to wear spandex. Biking is for eccentric rich people except when you actually need your bike, like to get to the drugstore, in which case, you’re clearly poor and that’s not only icky, it’s foreign. All this is to say, biking is a status symbol except when it’s not.

2. Now, on the topic of foreign, what we really mean is socialist. You’ve been brainwashed to think socialism is good, poor thing, but it’s actually fascist. Yeah, I know. Sorry. Additionally, biking is lefty, liberal, hippie, treehugger, crunchy, granola, pretty gay, most likely sanctioned by the vegan lesbian lovechild of Alice Waters, Nancy Pelosi, and Gavin Newsom (don’t ask, it’s California), and basically the gateway drug to communism and enforced tofu. The soft kind. Of course.

3. Biking is something other people in other countries do, so hello? We’re #1, silly!

4. Biking is statistically favored by community organizers or something, and I believe I can dispense with this point entirely now without even typing that Ronald Reagan government quote because it’s so obvious I don’t have to finish this

5. Europeans like to bike. French people live in Europe. Freedom fries. You get it.

6. You cannot aerial hunt wolves from a bike. You just can’t, it looks stupid. (Props for the HT, SP!)

7. Consider, just think of the ramifications for hip-hop. Jesus H. Christ, have you people no souls? Do you know how many albums would be utterly demolished if we removed the automobile references? Do you have any idea the amount of booty that would not be had? Gin and Juice rollin on what, some sweet ano instead of dubs? Right. What is knee bacon in comparison to bullet wounds? If you don’t know what I’m talking about you’ll have to call 50 Cent. No wonder the sun set, if you know what I mean.

Cultural matters aside, there are lots of other practical reasons Americans don’t like to bike:

8. No A/C.

9. Biking is cool in Portland.

10. It’s also cool in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is the closest you’ll get to European of any American city, and may I please reference point 5 above.

11. If it can’t do 0 to 60 in under 10 seconds, I’m sorry, it isn’t real transportation. I’m pretty sure that one is actually a law.

12. How are you supposed to text while cycling? Answer me that. OMG WTF.

13. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you can’t go through the drive through on a bike.

You’ve done some good stuff, old boy. For English muffins, we thank you and all of Team Tea. But bikes? It’s just not how we roll.

(Although some can dream.)

Image: salim

My friends at Environmental Graffiti, a really cool green site devoted to covering odd, humorous and bizarre green topics, featured me in their green Movers and Shakers series. If you just can’t get enough of me, you obviously must read this. Go! (Thanks to Chris and Simone.)

“Once a thing is set, that is its course.” - Seneca

Do you think this is true?

Now go listen to Juicy by the Notorious B.I.G.* and consider it again.

Loss, cherish, change, growth, movement, bittersweet.

* warning: F-bombs aplenty!

Image: Nrbelex

“Sometimes I get so shocked that people get so emotional when they write comments to posts. Some harsh words are being thrown around, and you can really feel how angry people get. It’s painful to read, like stabs of ego going right into my chest.”

Let’s talk about anger.

The truth: when I read the email my immediate reaction was welcome to the internet, honey. I slipped the laptop to the floor, got up from bed and made myself a snack. Leaning against my counter in the dark, with only the lights of the Bay twinkling in the low waves, I combed through my mental archives of Insults in Blogging. Before EcoSalon I worked in a much rowdier sphere, and if you think people get riled up about green, try health. I’ve received some of the most insane and vulgar messages imaginable. The first time it happened, when something I wrote made the Digg front page a few years back, I stumbled across the driveway to my friend’s apartment and cried in her arms.

And I’m no web celeb. Imagine what that’s like. Those in social media know the tragic Kathy Sierra case and more recently, Arrington’s need for personal security and a month on a beach far away. Bloggers trade war stories to support each other; we joke about and even co-opt the attacks to deal. Hey, you get great nicknames that way.

But why are we the people so angry?

A few weeks ago I was having cocktails with friends at a place called the Spinnaker, a place so incredibly uncool it’s cool again. (Or so we tell ourselves.) We were discussing The Great Problems of Our Time: dating, global warming, web startup names. After several minutes of debating whether Solution A was superior to Solution B on Topic Whatnot, my friend’s husband interrupted us all with an incredulous jut: “None of this is going to fix anything until we address our psychological ills.” People are angry.

Road rage. Screaming at the travel agent and gracing the pedestrian with the bird. Telling off the Verizon rep after finally getting him on the line. Sneering at the cashier, barista, the whole of retail. How are we so infuriated by things that merely glance off our lives? Why the kneejerk viciousness?

Anger is something I know intimately; maybe you do, too. Anger seemed to be what the 80s and 90s were all about. We all learned to cope somehow - I learned to be soothing. This worked fabulously well until I became an adult and realized after half a decade of feeling not-quite-right that I was angry myself. With the support of my closest friends I spent a very long time exploring, for the first time, my own anger. It wasn’t pretty. It was terrifying. And there’s more in there yet. Ripping off that dark strip of anger that had fused to my heart was painful. What if people thought what’s underneath, the baby rawness, was ugly?

And so, as the waters below my window moved under the night sky last night, I reflected on these strands: the desperate and lonely undercurrent of anger in social media that bursts acidly from old wounds poked; our culture of anger; my own quicksilver vitriol. I poured a glass of wine and shook my head - I’ve left not a few angry comments myself. The internet makes people angry itself, a friend says. It’s complex and the rules are only half-visible and that’s threatening.

I’m fascinated by this sociology in action. How couldn’t you be? Social media is a Wild West of capitalism and culture. It’s messy and…angry. And authentic. It’s a beautiful and simultaneously ugly reflection and I love it deeply. Taking another view, however, the internet is a city and there are just some parts of cities you don’t go because you know they’re gritty. This seems to be the prevailing “wisdom”. That’s pragmatic, but it’s not going to fix anything until we fix our psychological ills. And the only way to do that is to spill the light on those dark patches of inadequacy that masquerade as a fury to be written off.

EcoSalon, even with the occasional oddball from the random intersections of the internet, is relatively wonderful. I don’t censor much. But last night, after reading that email, I realized we all have an opportunity to talk about Anger, and I shouldn’t be peremptory or insensitive to it. Being jaded is better than running to my friend’s door to shed hot tears, I suppose. Jaded. Such a vacuous misdirection of a swelling wave beneath.

Compassion isn’t about soothing or making peace. It’s not about deleting. It’s about paying attention to the anger. Because anger is a very important emotion. And clearly, there’s a lot of it everywhere. And until we all decide to listen, we’re not solving anything.

I’ve been thinking on that phrase from MOGO: Live your epitaph. Personally, I don’t want “jaded” anywhere near mine. And I hope anger isn’t anywhere near Ours.

Tell me about anger.

P.S. Anger as entertainment.

Have you checked out EcoSalon lately? We migrated off our custom CMS to Wordpress, among other changes. The site is bigger now, with a third column and additional widgets, and we’re displaying ads. All in all, I love the new look. (The coding and migration were handled by Spyre Studios). Go check it out and let me know whatcha think.

You’ll notice it’s me and my green shirt again - man, I really need to get some new pictures. Or a new shirt. But Kirtsy seriously rocks, so you need to check it out. Guy Kawasaki/brain crush/official rock star thinks it’s pretty cool, so you know where you’re clicking next.

I am managing an incredible team of 11 writers who put the talent in…well, talent. The site features five sections - fashion, decor, wellness, artisan, lifestyle - and is GC for fashionable, savvy women who want to go green yesterday. The great thing about EcoSalon is that we take green a little further (hence EcoSalon, not GreenSalon). The focus is on sustainability, but sustainability in every aspect of living. So far it’s been a lot of fun. It’s also fresh and authentic, which is why I’m so proud to have my name on it. And seriously, just read those writers. Go on, now!

EcoSalon is sponsored by VivaTerra. Flor, Elle Decor, and The Trust for Public Land are current advertisers. Look for advertiser updates soon.

GC = Grand Central